how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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