Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
