how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
