He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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