She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
