I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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