All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
