Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize