even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
