No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize