whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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