is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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