saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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