we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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