hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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