I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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