We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
