Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.

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  (718): no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours. http://tfl.nu/ektb
  Replies (3) Good night (4198) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...

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  (305): Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid... http://tfl.nu/f15q
  Replies (37) Good night (8579) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.

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  (720): Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is. http://tfl.nu/8296
  Replies (20) Good night (6436) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.

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  (301): Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning. http://tfl.nu/0np0
  Replies (6) Good night (5577) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?

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  (407): Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives? http://tfl.nu/s936
  Replies (22) Good night (3820) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you

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  (512): By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you http://tfl.nu/3p9a
  Replies (10) Good night (970) Bad night (1597)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?

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  (605): Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win? http://tfl.nu/frm8
  Replies (6) Good night (1736) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"

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  (805): We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?" http://tfl.nu/3rqz
  Replies (4) Good night (1707) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.

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  (647): I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool. http://tfl.nu/nmia
  Replies (11) Good night (1275) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.

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  (402): It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off. http://tfl.nu/33ez
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame

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  (303): Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/4ytk
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're my favorite person

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  (913): I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that. (1-913): You're my favorite person http://tfl.nu/9772
  Replies (7) Good night (1294) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it

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  (267): Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it http://tfl.nu/yaso
  Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.

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  (410): Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win. http://tfl.nu/2tho
  Replies (11) Good night (1365) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree

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  (508): Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree http://tfl.nu/yi66
  Replies (3) Good night (156) Bad night (315)

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