I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
A bitchslap is in order.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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