my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Who did Billy Mays play for?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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