I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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