he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is it penis luge time yet?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
