i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she smelled like a LAN party
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
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I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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