Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
