i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize