she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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