i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
