Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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