you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
