it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
