i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
