you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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