I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
