I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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