Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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