my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
