marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I did not marry a roomba.
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