So drunk, too bad you don't want this
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
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this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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