If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
