So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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