I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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