it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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