Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Congratulations! We have a period
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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