oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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