So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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