I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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