I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Who died my cat blue again?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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