I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
