after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
What a dumb baby whore.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
