What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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