You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
