There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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