I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
