I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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