i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
