so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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