i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize