Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
